Preparing
Your Child to Move
by Blanche Evans
Children
respond to the general atmosphere set in the home by the attitudes of
their parents. If you look
at moving as an exciting adventure full of new possibilities, then
chances are very good that you will infect your children with enthusiasm
and anticipation.
Many
times we forget that making more money or moving to a larger home is not
a change that children will understand. The younger the child, the less
able they are to "see into the future" as you do. They tend to
focus on losing the security they already know, along with missing
friends and family. Your job is to turn the sadness and doubt into
happiness. Ask yourself what advantages there are for the child in the
move. For example, will the family be closer to Grandma, the ocean, or
another favorite person, place, or activity?
One
of the easiest ways to turn an unhappy frown into joy and excitement is
to communicate frequently. Let your children know, step by step, what is
happening and what is likely to happen next. Tell them what the move
means to the family -- how important it is that Mommy got a big
promotion or that Daddy is opening a new office for his company, and how
other aspects of the move will be good for the child.
Be
ready for those "What about me?" questions by researching
schools, churches, activities, and community amenities in advance, and
offer your child choices and ways to participate where it is
appropriate. Whenever possible, look up information on the Internet, or
have your agent e-mail, fax, or mail vital information about the
community so that you and your child can plan where to go and who to
meet in order to help ease the transition into new activities and
surroundings. Contact organizations with whom your child is already
associated or with whom he or she has an interest, and ask for referrals
to your new city. Knowing they won't have to give up favorite hobbies or
sports goes a long way toward helping children adjust.
Making
contacts with future friends, classmates, and fellow hobbyists can also
go a long way toward helping your child's transition to a new home and
environment. See if your agent, other transferees, or family can put you
in touch with other children your child's age so that a chat room or
e-mail friendship can begin.
Your
Realtor should be able to show you your home either through e-mail, the
local MLS service, or Realtor.com. Have your Realtor take pictures of
your home and send them to you. Have fun by showing your child the new
house plans, or draw them yourself and let your child cut out furniture
and toys to place in the rooms. Show your child a typical day in the
home as you go from room to room. Draw a map, and show how close Mommy
and Daddy work, where schools are, where Aunt Bea lives, and other
points of interest to help them orient themselves in their new
surroundings.
If
time and finances permit, take your child on a trip to visit your new
city and home to get acquainted. If that's not possible, get on the
Internet, and show him or her the city, neighborhood, and home where
you'll be living. Most cities have Web sites available that offer a wide
range of information, so you can plan activities for after your move,
such as visits to the theater, a visit to the local zoo, or a trip to a
local restaurant that serves your child's favorite food.
Allowing
your children to participate as much as possible makes the time they
spend anticipating the move pass more quickly. Keep them occupied by
letting them plan and pack a box or two of their special things.
Consider their input on new decor and the layout of their new rooms.
Encourage them to take the time to exchange good-byes with friends and
loved ones and get addresses, e-mail addresses, and phone numbers to
stay in touch.
While
you are preparing for the move, try to stick as closely to your normal
routine as possible, and let your children know that, although they will
soon live in a new house, the rules of the household will still be the
same. Bedtime is still at 9 p.m., and homework must still completed
before TV time is allowed. And although Mom and Dad are a little busier
and distracted with the move, they love their children very much and are
giving the entire household a new opportunity to grow.
On
moving day, have a bag packed of personal belongings for each member of
the family, being careful to include medications, clothes, and personal
items. Let your children choose what amusements and favorite "loveys"
they wish to take along, and reassure them they will see their other
favorite toys when they arrive in their new home.
Your preparedness will go a long way in reassuring your
children that their needs are being considered.
Paul
and
Judy Wilson
and
TheWilsonHomeTeam.com
, your real estate consultants … for life!
293-1224 or 275-5464
