When
Is The Best Time
To Move Your Children?
By
Courtney Ronan
Companies are relocating more employees today than at
any time in history. In fact, in many of the nation’s firms, new
employees begin their careers with the understanding -- either overt or
implied -- that they could at some point in the future be asked to
relocate. And in today’s competitive corporate environment, as top
companies vie for prospective applicants with the high-tech skills they
demand, corporations have determined that dangling certain benefits are
necessary in order to sweeten the pot, so to speak. Companies have moved
beyond merely paying the moving expenses of new hires and current
employees relocating to another branch office. Recognizing the national
movement to strike a balance between work and family, employers are
helping the spouses of transferring employees find jobs, helping their
children locate quality education, and offering other benefits to help
ease the transition and keep employees’ job satisfaction at a high
level.
While helping children find good schools is an
important part of the relocation process, the last-minute nature of many
transfers makes it difficult to analyze the emotional needs of children
in the event of a transfer. Stress begins as soon as the transfer is
accepted. In most cases, the transferring employee sets up camp in the
family’s new hometown for a specified period, and the rest of the
family moves later, usually because parents want their children to
complete the current school year rather than uprooting them mid-year.
This obviously creates stress on the spouse left behind and on children,
particularly if they’re young.
Some relocation specialists are beginning to doubt
the importance of waiting until summertime to embark on a move, however.
First of all, summer vacation has become shorter in recent years. Within
many school districts, you’ll find a push toward year-round education
-- in other words, a move away from the nine-month academic year
followed by a three-month summer break. Educators are arguing the merits
of shorter, more frequent breaks throughout the year instead of a
lengthy summer break. This shortens the window of available break time
in which families may move.
In addition, when families relocate during the
summertime, they often find upon their arrival that other families in
their new neighborhoods are traveling. That reduces opportunities for
children to meet new friends in their new neighborhoods. Subsequently,
they have time on their hands and are likely to become bored and/or
apprehensive about the move.
Families who relocate during the summer and plan to
immediately enroll their children in summer activities and/or summer
camp upon arrival are often disappointed to find that these activities
are already filled. Registration for these activities often takes place
in the spring. The same goes for many sports teams and academic and
music organizations offered by schools. Students often "try
out" before the school year ends in order to be considered for
membership in the fall.
It’s often a good idea to plunge your children into
activity upon arrival in your new hometown -- in other words, don’t
give them the opportunity to become lonely. Moving your children
mid-school year means they’re immediately introduced to other children
their own age and presented with numerous opportunities for academic
organization membership, sports teams and overall familiarization with
their new hometowns. Being the "new kid on the block" is more
likely to be a novelty -- a positive point of difference that attracts
other children to your own child -- in the classroom, as opposed to an
empty neighborhood in the summertime. And of course, as children mature
and become high-schoolers, they’re more likely to introduce themselves
to the new student in the class, to offer to take them to lunch,
introduce them to their circle of friends, etc.
Many child psychologists say that children between
the ages of about 5 and 10 are the least affected by a move. Children of
this age range don’t look outside their families for validation and
support as much as teens, so a transplant into a new environment isn’t
removing their primary source of reassurance. Parents of children
between 5 and 10 should, in the event of a move, concentrate on doing
more of the same -- offering emotional support, talking with their
children about any concerns they have, and spending a little extra time
with them, despite all of the pressures of the impending move. If you
are moving during the summer months, find out if your child’s new
school offers an orientation. One of the best ways to dispel
apprehension is to instill familiarity -- with the building layout,
classrooms, your child’s new teacher, etc. If it’s possible, seek
out an individual (such as a guidance counselor) who’s willing to take
your child under his or her wing for a couple of weeks and help your
child locate the extracurricular activities that capitalize on personal
strengths and facilitate friendships.
Teens are trickier. This is the age, of course, when
children are attempting to separate themselves from their parents and
establish self-identity. Their friends are a significant source of
emotional support for them. So uprooting them is more traumatic. On the
other hand, teens who successfully handle the stresses of a move are
likely to experience a boost in their self-esteem and sense of
competency as a result. Considering the challenges ahead -- college and
adulthood -- this is good real-life experience. In fact, teens who have
met the challenges of a relocation are often more successful in their
attempt to handle the emotional stresses of moving to college for the
first time.
Nevertheless, your teen is likely to be feeling
apprehensive about your relocation. A parent’s best strategy,
according to child psychologists, is often just to listen. Ask your teen
what he or she feels. If you can, tell your teen about a similar time in
your life. Did your own family go through a move when you were young?
How did you feel? What kinds of coping strategies did you use? And to
validate your child’s fears, this is an excellent time to set up an
e-mail account for your child so that he or she may continue to
communicate with friends in your former hometown (and even chat with a
group of friends in real time) at minimal cost. Try to bring out the
positive aspects of the move (an adventure, a chance to meet new and
interesting people, see a new part of the country and expand horizons),
and strongly encourage (but don’t pressure) your child to get involved
in extracurricular activities in your new hometown.
While it’s inevitable that you’ll always find
pros and cons with every move, it’s quite possible that a mid-year
move is the best move for your family. And consider this: Moving during
the holiday season (November, December, January) often means you’ll
pay a lower price for a home. Homes often command higher prices during
the summer months.
Paul
and
Judy Wilson
and
TheWilsonHomeTeam.com
, your real estate consultants … for life!
293-1224 or 275-5464
